What do you want to be?
How often did you hear that when you were a kid? How frequently do you or other adults ask that of your children? The first time I can recall someone asking me what I wanted to be when I grew up, I was about 5 years old. My answer- a wife and mommy. The response from the adult asking the question was a harsh "NO! For a job! What do you want to be when you grow up?" The implication that I got from this exchange was that a person was defined by what job they have, and that being a wife and mother was not a worthwhile endeavor. Nothing could be further from the truth of course.
a vocation is not a career
The truth is, your career, however passionate about it you are, however much you love it, doesn't define who you are as a person. A vocation is 24/7- no vacations, no sick days, no retirement. It is our answer to God's call. A vocation is a state of being in this world in which we work to bring about the Kingdom of God, helping the people in our lives to get to heaven. Some people are called to the religious life, some to marriage, some to live the single life. Each is important and helps to build up the community of faith.
Discernment
How do you help your children to discern their vocation? Two primary ways: Prayer and conversation. Prayer is always the way to go when discerning any big decision. Pray for them and with them to help them to be open to the path God is calling them to. And secondly, talk with your kids, let them learn about different vocations. Odds are, they are most familiar with the vocation of marriage and not at all with consecrated religious life. Discuss the challenges and joys that come with marriage. Ask what they think are virtues they should look for in a spouse. If you don't have someone in your life who belongs to a religious order and could share their experiences with your kids, do some research online about different religious communities and how they live. If possible arrange to go on a family retreat or day visit to a monastery or convent.
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Continual prayer and conversation throughout the years will help your children to discern their vocation. We hope the resources below will help you to start the conversation with them and assist you in your prayers.
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